Part 2 of Defiant Joy.

by: **Jane Dillinger**

[Note: this is part 2 of a 2-part series on Defiant Joy. Read part 1 here.]

“Defiant Joy has been a show that lived up to its name and branding. It was free and reckless; creative and liberating; defiant and joyous.” - Mx. Dahlia Belle

The atmosphere Joe John assembled for the finale was warm, silly, poignant, and personal. In that basement venue it felt safe, loose, and alive. In a time where queer people hold fear for the future, the lineup was perfectly balanced and both acerbic and affirming. Jason Burton talked about performative allyship, Moisés Da Silva explained their nonbinary trans guyness. Gabe Holmes poked fun at bigotry, and Ian Crowley crafted a microcosm of bisexual absurdity. Brian Govender kicked it off with his last-second guest set, and Daisy Claire embraced batman-villainy with theirs. Lee H. Tillman headlined and had the audience enthralled with his skillful use of pauses and tension.

It was a beautiful farewell. Defiant Joy will be remembered for making the most of the moment, for building and holding space for queer joy, and lifting voices in the comedy community.

Making the Most of the Moment

The climate that Joe John cultivated, the lineups that they configured, the voices they elevated, we take those moments with us. I reached out to comedians who had been on the show to ask for their opinions and memories of Defiant Joy, and I received so much that I had to write this second part just to share it all.

Defiant Joy was the first time Ally J Ward was asked to headline, she said, and “to have my comedy be synonymous with the show’s mission was the biggest compliment I could receive. Every time I’ve gone or participated I felt the love and the support of the community in both performers and audience. “Joe John has done so much work to highlight so much queer talent within comedy and beyond. I’m grateful to have taken part. Honored to be considered worthy.”

Even if the audience was sparse, comedians chose to make the most of the time together. Amanda Lynn Deal recalled, “Joe John let us know we didn't have to perform since we had no audience, but if we wanted to they were gonna start the show.” She said, “We all grabbed our drinks, sat up front, and had the most magical evening trying new jokes, tagging old jokes, and laughing hysterically with one another. That night was the definition of Defiant Joy. Despite it all we had an amazing evening laughing together and I wouldn't trade that for any other feeling in the world.”

Katie Shook shared a similar story, “We really let it go off the rails. It turned into a magical little moment where the performers were just trying to make ourselves and the other comics laugh. I left that show feeling a sense of closeness I had not felt in comedy in so long.” She said that the show was, “a reminder that you can create these moments of joy and community with just a few people and it still has a ripple effect. I’m incredibly proud of Joe John for intentionally creating spaces to celebrate queer joy and all the work they have done to share it with everyone.”

And as Ross Passeck remembered, “We were all cheering each other on as much as we were trying to make each other laugh, and it was such an incredible night. Maybe we didn't crush in a sold out room, but we all encouraged each other to bear it all and swing for the fences in that moment. It was beautiful and fun, I don’t know what else you could ask from a night of queer comedy.”

It would be easy to give up, go home, get discouraged, but the show goes on because of how much it means to the people involved, and because of the nourishment we get from supporting our community and being supported in return.

Carrying Community

The queer comedy community in Portland means a lot to me, personally. I came to the city with not much more than my car, and not knowing a single other queer person in the area. The kindness and encouragement I’ve witnessed and experienced has motivated me to try comedy and write about it, a dream I didn’t think I’d get to see. The finale of Defiant Joy at Al’s Den felt like the culmination of that community feeling.

Juno Men shared her memory of headlining Defiant Joy on the last day of Portland Pride weekend: “Three years earlier, I was literally sitting outside Al's Den contemplating whether or not I should even pursue comedy in the PNW and wondering what I was doing with my life. So it felt a bit like an emotional full circle moment for me,” she said, “I am so grateful to the show and Joe John for offering a space for both comedians and audiences to enjoy defiantly joyous queer comedy. [Joe John] has been such a significant figure in cultivating PNW queer comedy spaces and it's been an immense privilege getting to work with them.”

Kristin Rowan spoke to the way comedians lifted each other up in Defiant Joy regardless of what was going on outside the room. “The one I was on was fun because I think all or most of the comics had happened to have had a really rough week. In my case I had a feeling I was about to be dumped which ended up being correct. But the show was really fun and supportive and getting to hang out seemed to be a highlight of all of our weeks,” she said.

Another aspect of Joe John’s production personality is how they deliver encouragement to their lineup. Comedian Cody Webb shared, “I was doing this bit with this pirate character named Phineas, and I was running the light. And I said ‘There’s usually a third part to this, but I’m already running the light’ and Joe John started chanting ‘Phineas! Phineas!’ and let me finish the joke. That’s a really sweet memory for me.”

Joe John is a force for queer space and resistance. Through Defiant Joy, their work has personally touched and supported the queer comedy scene in a way that won’t be forgotten. Said Daisy Claire, “I can’t say enough good things about the show, or its producer Joe John Sanchez III. I really respect the show’s commitment to showcasing newer queer voices as well as more experienced headliners.”

Designated allies also share in the community Joe John cultivated. Cait Chock explained, “This show was truly SO MUCH FUN, and I love the message to just be yourself, unabashed and defiantly so. I love that Joe John encouraged us to step outside the comedy ‘norms’ and do whatever we wanted and be more experimental in our performance. I’m really proud of what Joe John built and I’ll forever and always be a Joe John Hypebeast.”

Erica Figeuroa remembered her show, “I didn’t make it to the final cut. It was two guys and I thought this just can’t stand! So I went from backstage around to the main entrance. I had a large cane and tried to pull the two guys off. Then I started lip syncing to ‘I Will Survive’. The crowd ate it up.” She knew she could go wild “because it was the kind of thing Joe John would love. Because it was a non-traditional comedy show I could swing for the fences. Shoutout to Joe John's good friend, Cait Chock who was also on the show. I asked her if she thought I should do it and she said yes.”

Aleah & Mack, co-hosts of two experimental shows of their own, Heart Throb and Queer AF, also got to play around at Defiant Joy. Aleah said it, “was the first time I felt comfortable playing a character on stage. I felt like I didn’t have to stay in the standard standup show box. I could explore my specific comedy in a different way.” Said Mack, “Defiant Joy was a place where I could really let my freak flag fly. I got to do character work and wear a mustache. I love that it was a space to take risks and have a blast being our gay little selves.”

Queer Space

Creating and holding space for queer people is no small feat. Queer people face isolation, condemnation and rejection from intolerant packs in society. The work Joe John did with Defiant Joy is vital to the queer community. It gives us not only a place where we can exist without judgment from those who misunderstand us, but allows us to witness each other and celebrate what we love in each other.

Jenna Britann, Amelia Evans, and Maeve Connor commented on the space Joe John created. “I saw how much love and passion Joe John poured into Defiant Joy”, Jenna said, “and how obviously they care so much about the performers and making sure everyone gets their chance to shine, to be safe, to be free to express their purest selves despite the BS happening around us. There's so much power in that.”

Amelia said, “Defiant Joy is one of those shows that permeates instant good vibes for both audience and performers and it's like a little pocket of solace. I'm so grateful for the queer spaces that shows like Defiant Joy create for us to unravel, especially when we will really need the Defiant variety of Joy going forward.”

“Defiant Joy was a really special space”, said Maeve, “but what made it special was the thriving queer comedy scene in Portland and the inimitable Joe John Sanchez III. Joe John is both hilarious and just a really kind, supportive person who is incredibly welcoming of new comics.”

Clancy Kramer also noted how Defiant Joy created a comedy refuge in an increasingly corporatized world, saying, “I really appreciate that Joe John is so committed to creating a space for idiots and freaks to do whatever the hell makes them happy, instead of yet another space that is fueled by some horrific, internal competition of who can make the most profitable art.” This was echoed by Imani, Joe John’s co-host on Exquisite Nonsense, “Omg this was a wild set. I just came from doing Clancy's show ‘infinite wheel of chaos’ where I drunk a cup of hot sauce. I was still processing having a hot anus during that set."

Goodbye, For Now

The show Defiant Joy may have ended its initial run, but it had a lasting positive impact on the queer comedy scene in Portland and beyond. Rachelle Cochran commented how as queer people we are always “searching for acceptance and love in the small corners of this world, and Defiant Joy always felt like one of those magical corners,” she said, “The audience that Joe John Sanchez has built is truly something special—warm, loving, and incredibly supportive. Performing there always felt like doing standup in front of family. In many ways, that audience is my family.”

“I love that show so much, and I’m going to miss it dearly,” she finished, “Thank you, Joe John, for always finding ways to bring joy into this world. The Portland comedy scene is so lucky to have you.”

During the finale, I felt the warmth and joy described by others, and I picked up an underlying theme that what we were doing was building resilience, resisting the fear and the worry around the corner. As the show closed, Joe John shared poignant parting words: