These Are the Trenches of My Dream

My Life as a Professional Comedian

by: **Sam Miller**

I used to wonder where Route 12 goes… I used to wonder where I-84 goes.

Now, I know.

They both go to the Tri-Cities: Kennewick, Richland, and Pasco WA. I have performed there 8 times thereabouts. The Clover Island Inn, the Red Lion, a strange Thai restaurant and the unpolished jewel of the Tri-City comedy crown: Jokers.

Jokers is a comedy club next to an arcade, across the hallway from a casino that somehow also exists in a bowling alley.

I don’t know how Jokers started but I can only guess that a multitasking real estate agent with an entrepreneurial spirit loved gambling, stand up, bowling, and Marvel vs. Capcom 3. I’m not going to talk about it anymore. I don’t want too. Just believe me when I say that Jokers, in the grand scheme of things, is a fine place for comedy.

That last sentence there was not me attempting to carry favor with Jokers; It was a half throated indictment of:

“THE GRAND SCHEME OF THINGS”

“THINGS” being my world as a professional comedian.
“SCHEME” being my feeble attempts to squeeze a living out of an industry that appears at times to be full up.

Like Forrest Gump getting on the school bus, I stare doe eyed at one fellow student at the time…

“Seats Taken!”

“Can’t sit here!”

JENNY HAS MY BACK! I CAN SIT WITH JENNY! THANK GOD FOR JENNY!

I hear her voice, her beautiful southern drawl, A blonde angel in the back of a school bus; She says: “The bar I used to run shows at lost it’s liquor license, but theres this dude Dave, he used to book this room a couple hours from here, maybe you should reach out to him.”

The first time I did comedy it clicked.
It clicked the way drugs clicked, it was a love click.

I knew immediately that I didn’t just find a thing to do, I found a thing to be. I found a way to replace some of the question marks of my human existence with exclamation points. Horrible things that happened to me 20 years ago were not, “Experiences to be ashamed about,” they were “Jokes to be envied.”

I wasn’t a weird ex-con, I was a unique voice!

I'm proud of where I've gotten in my career. I am a comedian!
It was really rough at first but I started doing paid shows!

I was at the theme park - I got a corn dog! I waited in line for the roller coaster and I barely fit in the seat, so a helpful 16 year old jammed the lap bar into my thighs so hard I almost passed out… But I was on the damn ride! It went up the hill……Click, click, click, click, click, the anticipation built… Click, click, click, click, click, OH MY GOD THERE’S THE TOP! Click, Click, CLICK, CLICK, CLICK - I see the horizon rise as a raise my hands to the sky in ecstasy!

My career, my life, my art, all in alignment; It ALL came into view:

Jokers.

It’s Jokers in Tri-Cities…

& that’s ok with me right now.

My secret to being a successful stand up comedian is
doing my absolute best to love myself, my family and my community.

This is my order:

Recovery

Family

Community

Comedy

Recovery:

My recovery comes first.

If I start getting high again then it doesnt work. Out side of my jokes, the comedy world has never known me when my substance use disorder was not in remission. If you are concerned about your substance use habits, If you think drugs (including alcohol) are taking away more than they are giving you, yet you’re continuing to use - That’s a problem.

There’s nothing more confounding to me in comedy then when a 10+ year veteran comic, that’s doing a 5 minute guest spot at a shitty bar show tells me that they’ve “Never performed without smoking weed or drinking.” I am in no place to tell anyone what decisions to make about what goes into their bodies, but maybe comedy has a better chance of becoming your full time job if you weren’t so drunk at the job interviews.

Family:

My family.

I’ve got a wife and 2 kids. They sacrifice too. I try to reward them. I pride myself on having a good balance; That’s what me and my therapist are working on. Families can be cool. Therapy can be pretty rad. Even when my Dad was being cool, when he touched me, I was scared.

THE THING THAT I’M MOST PROUD OF IS THAT MY TWO BOYS AREN’T SCARED OF ME!

Like I said: Therapy can be rad; Families can be cool.

Community:

My Community is not just comics.

I have a friend who’s a poet; I talk to him all the time. Whenever he see’s a dog he makes Donald Duck noises. Sometimes I’m worried that he thinks I’m annoying but he smiles when I see him Downtown.

I have a friend who races Sprint Cars in Ohio. He finds ways to stay calm in situations that seem to me to be incredibly frustrating. He almost died a couple times but he loves it.

I have a friend who was a professional skater for a time… He makes pizza and he works at a skate shop. I sit on the red couch and we laugh about how on my way to Knoxville I drove through both “West Virginia” and “Regular Virginia.”

For every hour I spend intersecting with the comedians I love, I try to spend at least an hour with folks involved in other pursuits entirely.

You should do that too - Or don’t… Once again, I’m in no place to be giving you advice.

Comedy:

Well as far as comedy goes, this weekend I'll be performing somewhere BETTER than Jokers...

Or maybe it will be worse.

Or maybe it will be Jokers.

By: Sam Miller